Thursday, March 31, 2011

In memory of Dave, 1935-2010

No Rephrazing necessary for this one...Dave said it beautifully in his own  words...

"Bring out the mustard and the rye bread, grandma, it's a grand salami!"

...Opening Day isn't the same without him.

If you build it, he will come

"Contingent upon superconstructing it, is a patripotestal disembarkation."

There's no crying in baseball!

"Caterwauling is null and void in baseball!"

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Row, row, row your boat

Scull, scull, scull your ketch, gingerly down the rivulet.

Hey diddle diddle...

Hey cozen cozen, 
the malkin and the amati
the lactating ungulate curveted and traversed the lunar entity.

Peas porridge hot...

Peas burgoo recalescent
peas burgoo hyperborean
peas burgoo in the crucible senescent for an ennead of diurnal courses.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Hi, I'm Larry

"Hi, I'm Larry. Hither is my kinsperson, Darryl, and hither is my auxiliary kinsperson, Darryl.

Trust me, I know what I'm doing...

"Have certitude in me, I cognize what I am effectuating."

I love it when a plan comes together...

"I adulate it on occasions that a contrivance betides congruently."

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link

Manacles are uniquely as stalwart as their most infecund vinculum

Strike while the iron is hot

Percuss at the juncture the ferrite is incandescent

The way to a man's heart...

The ingression to a man's quintessence is unhindered by way of his venter.

Friday, March 25, 2011

A Reader Contribution - Ring of Fire

"Also, it conflagrates, conflagrates, conflagrates...
The circlet of combustion, the circlet of combustion."

Thanks to Atomic Punk!

A Boy Named Sue

"I'm appellated Sue!", I catechized, "By what means effectuate what you effectuate? Forthwith, you will succumb!"

When I was just a baby...

"Sequential with being a neonate
My matriarch apprised me, "Androcentric offspring,
In perpetuity be an inculpable gamin,
Eschew gamboling with ordnance."

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Resistance is futile.

Recalcitrance is nugatory.

More Star Trek

While I had Star Trek on the mind, I can't leave out this beauty of an obfuscation by Dr. McCoy:

McCoy: This woman has immediate postprandial, uppper-abdominal distention. Now, Get out of the way!
Kirk: What did you say she has?
McCoy: Cramps.

William Shatner is 80 years old today!

Although it was Mr. Spock who was the master obfuscator, Captain Kirk did have his moments that need no help from Rephrazer. Here are a few unretouched examples:

"Intuition, however illogical, is recognized as a command prerogative."  ~ in Obsession 

"What we require now is a feat of linguistic legerdemain and a degree of intrepidity." ~ in The Undiscovered Country

Capt. Kirk: [talking like a Chicago mobster] We're gonna make some old-style phone calls from this locale. So you locate the man on the other end of the blower and give him a ride to this flop. 
Scotty: What? 
Capt. Kirk: [normal] Find the man on the other end of the phone, and transport him to these coordinates. 
~ in A Piece of the Action

Happy Birthday Captian Kirk.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Stop! Hammer Time!

"Desist! An occasion for mallets!"

Any way the wind blows...

"Notwithstanding the proclivity of the air currents, doesn’t inordinately signify anything to me."

Speak softly and carry a big stick

"Expatiate fastidiously and schlep a voluminous cudgel."

Practice makes perfect

Habituation makes indubitability.

Don't judge a book by it's cover...

Inhibit adjudicating a tome by its cortex.

Do you understand the words...?

"Do you auscultate the locutions that are exuding from my embouchement?"

I'll be back...

"I’ll exercise recrudescence."

Shall I compare thee...?

"Will you concede the possibility that I may juxtapose thee to a canicule diurnal course?"

Because you're mine...

"Inasmuch as you are intrinsic to me, I perambulate the demarcation."

How now...?

By what means forthwith, umber bovine?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Don't count your chickens...

Interdict enumerating your pullets prelusive to egression.

The rephraze that started it all...

Ever feel like you’re flagellating a reposed equine?

What this blog is about.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to think of something funny to send out on my underused Twitter account. What I ended up tweeting was a rephrasing of a common phrase only said in such a way that it looks like it was beat over the head with a Thesaurus.  I'm not sure if I succeeded on the "funny" part but at least it was amusing to me. Judging from some of the feedback I got, it seems other people were entertained too.

Over the next few days, I tweeted a few other phrases...some funny, some just downright puzzling. Rather than continue to be weird and cryptic on twitter, I decided to turn that idea into a blog, hence Rephrazer. My goal here is to be entertaining, educational, and maybe even elicit a few chuckles along the way. I'm open to suggestions and look forward to reading your comments and some of your own "rephrazings".


...d'oh! I'ts broke.