Quotes Too True to Be Good: Brittany Spears

"I can peregrinate to multifarious transoceanic purlieus...like Canada!"


What she actually said was, "I get to go to lots of oversea places...like Canada!"

Quotes Too True to Be Good: Al Gore

"A striped perissodactyl does not experience vicissitudes of its mottles."


What he really said was, "A zebra does not change its spots."

Quotes Too True to Be Good: Brooke Shields

"Smoking immolates. If you are immolated, you've capitulated a very salient constituent of your quiddity."


What she actually said was, "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Spoonerism # 3: He was killed by a blushing crow...

...or was that a crushing blow?


He was extirpated by a verucund corvis.

Spoonerism #2: A vast display of cattleships and bruisers...

...or was that battleships and cruisers?


A voluminous pretension of bovid-ships and pugilists. 

Spoonerism #1: We'll have the hags flung out

...or was it have the flags hung out?


We'll elicit the viragos to be jettisoned.

Diametrics #3: The bigger the better; The best things come in small packages

The Brobdingnagianer the ameliorated.


The nonpareil things betide in Liliputian biddles.










More "conflicting proverbs" at http://www.rinkworks.com/words/proverbs.shtml