In memory of Dave, 1935-2010

No Rephrazing necessary for this one...Dave said it beautifully in his own  words...


"Bring out the mustard and the rye bread, grandma, it's a grand salami!"


...Opening Day isn't the same without him.

If you build it, he will come

"Contingent upon superconstructing it, is a patripotestal disembarkation."

There's no crying in baseball!

"Caterwauling is null and void in baseball!"

Yogi Berra: The future ain't what it used to be

"The impending ain't congenerous to it's quondam capitulation."

Yogi Berra: If you come to a fork in the road, take it

"If you betide upon a flection in the thoroughfare, expropriate it."

Yogi Berra: Half the lies they tell about me aren't true

"Half the mendacities they promulgate about me aren't veridical."

Row, row, row your boat

Scull, scull, scull your ketch, gingerly down the rivulet.

Hey diddle diddle...

Hey cozen cozen, 
the malkin and the amati, 
the lactating ungulate curveted and traversed the lunar entity.

Peas porridge hot...

Peas burgoo recalescent, 
peas burgoo hyperborean, 
peas burgoo in the crucible senescent for an ennead of diurnal courses.

Hi, I'm Larry

"Hi, I'm Larry. Hither is my kinsperson, Darryl, and hither is my auxiliary kinsperson, Darryl.

Trust me, I know what I'm doing...

"Have certitude in me, I cognize what I am effectuating."

I love it when a plan comes together...

"I adulate it on occasions that a contrivance betides congruently."

AT&T

Prolongate and osculate a third party

Disneyland

The most convivial commorancy on terrene!

Frosted Flakes

They're mer-r-r-r-r-r-r-itorious!

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link

Manacles are uniquely as stalwart as their most infecund vinculum. 

Strike while the iron is hot

Percuss at the juncture the ferrite is incandescent. 

The way to a man's heart...

The ingression to a man's quintessence is unhindered by way of his venter.

A Reader Contribution - Ring of Fire

"Also, it conflagrates, conflagrates, conflagrates...
The circlet of combustion, the circlet of combustion."




Thanks to Atomic Punk!

A Boy Named Sue

"I'm appellated Sue!", I catechized, "By what means effectuate what you effectuate? Forthwith, you will succumb!"

When I was just a baby...

"Sequential with being a neonate, 
My matriarch apprised me, "Androcentric offspring,
In perpetuity be an inculpable gamin,
Eschew gamboling with ordnance."

Wait'll they get a load of me

"Abide pending their arrogation of an encumbrance of me."

You can't handle the truth!

"You are unequipped to wield the verisimilitude."

You make me want to be a better man

"You catalyze me to hanker to be more adroit."

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...

Adolescent Aberrant Surreptitious Terrapins...Exemplars accoutered with semi-carapaces.  

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Which person is solicitous in respects to the commodious reprobate lobo?

G.I. Joe - And now you know...

"Presently you cognize, and cognizing is a bisection of the embroilment."

Resistance is futile.

Recalcitrance is nugatory.

More Star Trek

While I had Star Trek on the mind, I can't leave out this beauty of an obfuscation by Dr. McCoy:


McCoy: This woman has immediate postprandial, uppper-abdominal distention. Now, Get out of the way!
Kirk: What did you say she has?
McCoy: Cramps.

William Shatner is 80 years old today!

Although it was Mr. Spock who was the master obfuscator, Captain Kirk did have his moments that need no help from Rephrazer. Here are a few unretouched examples:


"Intuition, however illogical, is recognized as a command prerogative."  ~ in Obsession 


"What we require now is a feat of linguistic legerdemain and a degree of intrepidity." ~ in The Undiscovered Country


Capt. Kirk: [talking like a Chicago mobster] We're gonna make some old-style phone calls from this locale. So you locate the man on the other end of the blower and give him a ride to this flop. 
Scotty: What? 
Capt. Kirk: [normal] Find the man on the other end of the phone, and transport him to these coordinates. 
~ in A Piece of the Action


Happy Birthday Captian Kirk.

Take a bite outta crime

Prehend a rumination dulcifying malfeasance.

Got milk?

Wangle laiche?

Mama always said...

"My matriarch always said, “puerility is as puerility perpetrates.”

Say hello to my little friend

"Enunciate your salutations to my Lilliputian consort!"

Stop! Hammer Time!

"Desist! An occasion for mallets!"

Any way the wind blows...

"Notwithstanding the proclivity of the air currents, doesn’t inordinately signify anything to me."

Speak softly and carry a big stick

"Expatiate fastidiously and schlep a voluminous cudgel."

Practice makes perfect

Habituation makes indubitability.

Don't judge a book by it's cover...

Inhibit adjudicating a tome by its cortex.

Do you understand the words...?

"Do you auscultate the locutions that are exuding from my embouchement?"

I'll be back...

"I’ll exercise recrudescence."

Shall I compare thee...?

"Will you concede the possibility that I may juxtapose thee to a canicule diurnal course?"

Because you're mine...

"Inasmuch as you are intrinsic to me, I perambulate the demarcation."

How now...?

By what means forthwith, umber bovine?

Don't count your chickens...

Interdict enumerating your pullets prelusive to egression.

The rephraze that started it all...

Ever feel like you’re flagellating a reposed equine?

What this blog is about.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was trying to think of something funny to send out on my underused Twitter account. What I ended up tweeting was a rephrasing of a common phrase only said in such a way that it looks like it was beat over the head with a Thesaurus.  I'm not sure if I succeeded on the "funny" part but at least it was amusing to me. Judging from some of the feedback I got, it seems other people were entertained too.

Over the next few days, I tweeted a few other phrases...some funny, some just downright puzzling. Rather than continue to be weird and cryptic on twitter, I decided to turn that idea into a blog, hence Rephrazer. My goal here is to be entertaining, educational, and maybe even elicit a few chuckles along the way. I'm open to suggestions and look forward to reading your comments and some of your own "rephrazings".

Testing...1...2...3...7...

...d'oh! I'ts broke.